I'm drive I can fine osifer
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
