I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
are you so shy because you have an std?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
