Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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