This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
