you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
