Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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