Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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