My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
why do cheetos always look like penises
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
