Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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