the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
