She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
