its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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