And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
