Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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