fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
