I am midnight drunk by noon
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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