if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
