i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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