what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
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