i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize