It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
