I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
