pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
