I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I can text with my tongue
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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