I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize