just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Dignity is for republicans.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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