he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
whose ass print is on the piano?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
