we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
