i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
