Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
