He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
