Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
