i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I need water and some morals
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
