I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize