You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
