you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
