I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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