I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
