I wannas sexs uuuuu
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
honey bunches of taint.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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