Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
