I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
