kristin has been a bad kristin
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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