So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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