note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he fucked my hip out of place.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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