(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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