I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
