you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
