Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
