don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
