Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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