I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
