____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize