you guys were way drunker than both of me
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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