Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
