Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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