Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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