how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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