I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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